13 Ideas For a Vanderpump Rules Viewing Party Menu

The ultimate Scandoval potluck inspo guide

The era of Scandoval is upon us.  For the uninitiated, reality show Vanderpump Rules plunged into scandal in March 2023 when news broke about an illicit affair amongst two of its stars: the previously righteous Tom Sandoval and his doe-eyed, emotionally vacant mistress Raquel (or Rachel) Leviss. The two carried on a relationship behind the back of Tom’s girlfriend of nine years, Ariana Madix, who also happened to be Raquel’s champion and best friend. As you can imagine, it’s been pretty ugly. This messiness has heretofore been named Scandoval and seems to be the defining gossip item of 2023.

While cheating is fairly standard on reality TV, this scandal hit different.  First, there was the blindside of it all.  Tom and Ariana seemed like the one decent, healthy couple on Vanderpump Rules.  It was startling to discover that Tom, who had frequently taken impassioned, moralistic stances against some of the show’s biggest boors, was just as snakey and despicable as the scum that reality TV so dependably churns out.

And then there was the undeniable fascination of tracking the scandal in real time while the current season of Vanderpump Rules slowly played catch-up week after week.  The series wanted us to focus on budding chemistry between Raquel and a different Tom — Tom Schwatz. But we all knew that was a red herring. How would the show pivot into Scandoval?

Suddenly, watching VPR wasn’t about Scheana’s wedding or Katie’s divorce (I mean, it was, but it wasn’t).  The show became a Where’s Waldo exercise as we scanned seemingly every frame for clues of the affair.  Did that smile from Sandoval suggest he had already begun sleeping with Raquel?  Were those matching lightning bolt necklaces a hidden message between secret lovers?  And was Raquel’s kiss with Tom Schwartz a coverup of larger transgressions?  We were all searching for breadcrumbs, and as my friend Neil Young expressed to me, Vanderpump Rules became Bravo’s first true crime TV show. (Dirty John doesn’t count)

The result: a sordid scandal constantly given new life by frenzied, deeply engaged viewers.  This wasn’t just an affair.  It was a detective case.  The story tumbled out of TMZ and Reddit and into the highfalutin pages of The New York Times and the other major outlets.  Ariana found herself at the White House Correspondents Dinner (and soon Dancing with the Stars).  And Bravo has parlayed the craziness into ratings gold, with the season finale raking in a series high of 4.1 million viewers.

In other words, it’s a big deal.

At this point, the series has caught up with current events.  We’ve seen Ariana confront Tom in the aforementioned finale as well as in the first reunion episode, where the rest of the cast got in on the action.  These climactic clashes have inspired Vanderpump Rules watch-parties across the nation (egged on by Bravo itself) as people cheer on Ariana and thrash Sandoval.

Naturally, one cannot simply have a viewing party without a goofy menu full of culinary puns.  So, here I am to provide some inspiration for anyone looking to organize an appetizer spread or potluck ahead of parts two and three of the reunion, which air on Wednesdays throughout June.

Just an FYI: I’ve mentioned that I’ll be compiling ideas for a VPR watch party menu on Watch What Crappens, the podcast I co-host with Ronnie Karam, and since then a Reddit thread has popped up with some great suggestions.  The following are my ideas for a VPR-inspired menu as well as some picks from Reddit and other areas.

Green Goddess Dip

A tribute to Ariana, whose star has risen amongst the dumpster fire that is Tom and Raquel’s affair.  I don’t actually have much experience with Green Goddess dressing — but I did once make Samin Nosrat’s recipe from her famed Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat, and it was great.  But in the spirit of adventure, why not also go for Colu Henry’s Green Goddess Dip with Celery Leaves Instead.  I haven’t actually made this recipe yet, but Colu Henry is deeply dependable, and she has a house in Nova Scotia, which is probably where Ariana wanted to escape to when Scandoval hit.

Dirty Rice

Tom Sandoval is far beneath this vaunted dish of the American South, but clearly there needs to be something with the word “dirty” in it for this spread.  Donald Link is a beloved New Orleans chef whose late Aughts cookbook Real Cajun features a Lake Charles Dirty Rice that in no way deserves to be associated with Tom Sandoval, but here we are.  Alternatively, you can just serve pigs in a blanket and arrange them in the shape of the Schwartz & Sandy’s logo.

Baby Backstab Ribs

Ariana took Raquel under her wing, only to be stabbed in the back by her young bestie.  To connote that, we have Baby Backstab Ribs, which only require a working oven and some patience to cook.  Use Tyler Florence’s Ultimate Barbecued Ribs recipe.  The results are excellent — I’ve been making them for years and years.  Just know that the process will take much longer than the 90 minutes he promises.

Shishu-to Peppers

I wanted to originally honor Scheana “Shishu” Shay with “Shishumai” dumplings, but my co-host Ronnie offered up an even better pun:  Shishu-to Peppers.  I’ve never actually made shishito peppers, but I suspect Alison Roman’s Tiny Peppers with Yuzu Kosho would be a citrusy, smoky delight.  If peppers aren’t your thing, maybe pivot towards Scheana’s favorite dish: enchiladas. (also, still unclear if the spelling is Shishu, Sheeshu, or Sheshu)

Give Them LaLasagna

Happy to report that Reddit user strong-ad-9104 and I both independently arrived at this idea, which not only is a pun, but also a visual representation of Lala’s greasy, cheesy, and not-very-good-for-the-heart ex, Randall Emmett.  There are many recipes to choose from, but I have to say that John Chandler’s World’s Best Lasagna on Allrecipes lives up to the hype.  And unlike Rand’s movies, this lasagna is actually enjoyable. 

Onion Ring on a String

Tom Schwartz famously gave Katie Maloney a “ring on a string” instead of a proper engagement ring in season 3 of VPR, and since then it’s become a lowkey symbol of his wishy-washy, noncommittal, gratingly cutesy nature.  Of course, it also was a harbinger of doom for this relationship, which saw Katie divorcing Tom and leaving him to ponder the horrors of man-eating Nile crocodiles in Florida.  Anyway, onion rings. Make a few and thread some kitchen twine through them.  I would love to give you a recipe, but in this case, I’ll just offer some advice based on personal experience: Cook up a batch of Alexia onion rings, ideally in an air fryer.

Moon Over My Hammy Girl

Many years ago, the first evidence of Tom Sandoval’s unfaithful ways arrived in the form of “Miami Girl,” a woman ushered into SUR by Kristen Doute with the sole intention of telling Tom “We had sex. We had sex!”  Tom denied it, Ariana had his back, and Miami girl disappeared from pop culture, unfairly discredited and shamed. Let’s honor her truth by recreating Denny’s iconic Moon Over My Hammy dish — a “ham and scrambled egg sandwich with Swiss & American cheeses on grilled artisan bread.”  Since this is a party spread, make them into several sliders.  Or here’s a fun (untested) idea:  Amanda Rettke’s ham, egg and cheese breakfast sandwiches, which she batch-makes with Hawaiian rolls and then divides into individual sliders.  If you’re up for making individual sandos, do yourself a favor and consult my guide.

Tequila Katie Margarita

Reddit user Status-leopard8327 pitched the following: “a redemptive margarita that is stronger on its own.”  I can’t argue with this.  Any good viewing party needs a signature cocktail, and while some may be tempted to make Pumptinis or pour some LVP Rosé, I think a Tequila Katie cocktail is the stiff beverage this scandal requires. Use your favorite margarita recipe.  For the classic version, I’m a fan of Ina Garten’s “Real Margaritas.”  And if you’re not looking for booze, maybe do Ina’s fresh lemonade, if only to invoke Beyoncé’s seminal musical statement about cheating men.

Coca Cola Cake

I’m not saying James Kennedy seemed hopped up on coke during the Vanderpump Rules reunion, but let’s just say he was animated. So, here’s Cheryl Day’s Coca Cola cake, which has enough sugar in it to make anyone act like a coked out reality star.  Do yourself a favor and put some salt in the frosting, otherwise the sweetness will actually destroy you.

Gouda as Gold

Secretsongbird on Reddit came up with this one — an ode to Scheana’s club banger (here’s to hoping it actually gets played in a club someday).  Anyway, this pun is too good to ignore; so if you’re putting out some cheese and crackers, please do include some gouda.

Scapegoat Cheeseballs

If you’re not making goat cheese balls for a VPR viewing party, you’re not doing it right.  Reddit user diver68 came up with this punny twist on the classic, which references Sandoval’s whining protest that he’s now the scapegoat of the group.

Number One Guy in the Grouper

I love this idea by Reddit user Schultzy52; although, serving grouper is a bit ambitious.  (For those who don’t follow the show, there’s an ongoing rivalry among the men to be the “Number one guy in the group.”)  Maybe we revise the pun to “Number One Guy in the Gruel?”  And serve oatmeal?  Or how about we remix the pun in a different way…

Number Bun Guy in the Group!

Here we go.  Buns.  This can go in so many directions.  Sticky buns?  Yum.  Steamed BBQ pork buns?  Yes please.  A more involved but undeniably wonderful choice would be Sami Tamimi and Tara Wigley’s sumac onion and herb oil buns.  The recipe requires an overnight rise and then an additional 90 minute rise after that, but the effort is so worth it.  Do ittttttttt.

LVPeas and Pesto Pasta

This recipe does double duty as a tenuous Lisa Vanderpump pun but also a nod to James Kennedy’s trademark declaration “It’s not about the pasta!” Nevertheless, Ina Garten has an oldie but goodie recipe called Pasta, Peas, and Pesto, which is great.  Don’t be alarmed by the 1¼ cups of mayo in the sauce.  Yes, it’s very Sandra Lee, and no, it’s not disgusting.  It works.  Listen, we watch Vanderpump Rules.  Now is not the time to turn your nose up at anything.

And since it is about the pasta quite often, let me help you out.  Use code NBDFancy15 at https://flourandwaterfoods.com to get 15% off some seriously great pasta from Flour + Water.  Highly recommend.

What’s on your Vanderpump Rules viewing party menu?